After that fatal (serious, not a joke) night in SFX, when Papa Wemba Show almost over, at 2:30 AM, after I did not lift and answered to Joannes invitation for a “pizza until 4 AM (more than sure, that I that “pizza” should extend until 4 PM if not more) a mysterious and unknown things began to happen. A some of my suspects were posted in previous post about danger contacting with psychotropic users. Then I did not assessed one and probably, the most important, factor in Joannes (and much more – my) tragedy. I felt that somebody’s invisible hand touched me trying to impact me and to make me helpless; I lost possibility of healthy perception, that is – my emotions has disappeared and kind of paralysis took me: I’m not joking – just look at the photo (right) made three years ago by mine: does I look like a normal person or mentally, pardon, emotionally, sicko? (I will provide my current photo in future for comparing me after my second visit to Whelan’s house – big difference. So, then were strange feeling, that Joanne’s father tries to take me into own hands, but I ignored that sense simply as a person with a clear mind. I did not knew then that I get into touch with Joanne’s father (I was stupid to allow for Joanne to make a my photo, which was issued for her family for “a review”), a person who pulled own daughter into mental hospital and feed her by different poisons, pardon – antidepressants.
Were a serious reason to almost to kill own member of family, where no any lacks? No. Does she has had a organic dysfunctions? No. (Except difficulty to percept world through vision; similarly I has had this trouble for a short time when returned from Central Asia where I resided for a four years to Lithuania – a big climatic changes makes temporary dysfunctions of human perceptors. Joanne, seems, that she were back from Australia, where were for a long time. Sunny Australia’s weather and fucking Dublin’s climate, where due unknown reasons, projection of self makes stressed ALMOST EVERY come from continent, after first time of excitement. But lets leave a Dublin’s climate (would like to move and hope, that one day will move out) and lets touch another personality of story – Joanne’s father.
A some years ago, after I returned (my fault!) for Uzbekistan to fucking Lithuania, occupied by homosexos and pedophiles under leading of American fuckwit Valdas Adamkus, I should spend couple of years in Lithuania Academy of Science’s Library, where tried to find an answers to a lot questions to problems (now it is obvious that for a most problems solution best might be one – to shot). Depression were the most important one and I spend a lot of time, almost three years by reading dozens of books by Freud, Young, Lacan and their Co. Psychoanalysis, analytical psychotherapy (they differs!), personal psychotherapy by Adler (best paid business in Lithuania, but it manners inside of blood of Irish. That is why a lot of Lithuanian likes Ireland. Me – not.) I did not read some books only about one field of psychology – behavioral psychology. I emphasized that for me, but simply were not a time. That might be an answer for some readers with a question “Why I risked to provide attention for a crazy girl? Did I want simply to consume her or I am crazy as well?” No. I simply felt that I were enough strong and prepared to provide a hand for Joanne. (But, I must to admit, that I did not assessed a risks getting into close emotional relations with psychotropic treated.) And she were and is fucking nice.
Now, some some words about Joanne’s father. Intelligent, government’s worker. I’m not sure what is his job exactly (it is always possible to find if necessary), but it seems that he his senior business professional working for the government. And here the most interesting thing appeared for me: what kind of personal attitudes should possess business professional in his job? Behavioral psychology – a dreadful American invited science working for business and killing people minds. Its major aims could be described easy: how to force people to do what they do not want to do (say, to buy a new shit), how force people not to do what they want to do (say, to stop people to worry about problems that make a risks for their secure living)? Behavioral psychology become a powerful instrument in business decision making and, of course, it might become a brutal instrument in close interpersonal relations (say, family relations). How to stop person to do what he want? How to prevent future efforts to achieve one or another aim that have a direct relation for the own interests? This is scientific invented instrument for business, allowing to crush any unprepared persons mind, if he was not feed with knowledge of formal logic (nobody likes it too much, but is works the best in this case). Fucking behavioral psychology with motivations (why he/she loves? How she/he could fuck me?) could make and makes to destroy of any persons head and most important, senses. Joanne unconsciousnelly attracted fathers knowledge, suitable to use in the hard-talks of business meetings and started to use it in the personal life. She become victim of father’s victim before. That is, how Joanne become a walking evil, what caused later her delivery to mental hospital and later – broke together with father (must to emphasize that) my 5 most beautyfull years when I must to lie in the bed like electroparalyzed (emotionally paralyzed) fish plenty feed with a money form a social welfare. Moral of the story could be next: do not be a communist when you are dealing with unhappy girls. Nobody will make them happy. Only theirselfs.
I’m still looking for wife. Seems that Indian girl to be best solution. Moncrieff told on radio unbelievable things about local girls, but it seems that it is truth. Dreadful beasts now are busy in most popular action: how to acquire more men emotions leaving men without nothing. That is, creating men emotional impotents, one of aims behavioral psychology. One of them, Joanne together with father, made that with me with 100 % success (not only with me, dozens were before). One Lithuanian journalist Gabija Luneviciute described me (very non-literally, in Dostoevsky’s one described hero behavior style) as emotional impotent. Ech, what I can do? She simply were very nice. Just unhappy a little bit. Behavioral psychology, implemented for Irish by foreign corporations, are very dangerous stuff.